We're The Meter Maids
And we are always on patrol.
And we are always on patrol.
We'll give out fines
For faulty lines
And place you on parole!
One of the most heinous crimes of rhyme is to use a word JUST for the rhyme.
Which of the following stanzas is guilty of this infraction?
A) If you commit
A crime of rhyme
You'll go to jail
And eat a lime!
B) The prince looked around for a partner
and found Cinderella- a girl
he asked her to dance, and she swooned at the chance,
so the two of them went for a whirl.
C) On a quiet little farm
far away from town
an acrobatic horse
was hanging upside down
If you said "D, all of the above," you'd be correct!
A) Obviously, we exaggerated this one make our point.
PENALTY: Jail, with no bail!
B) This one is a bit more subtle. The word "girl" is there just to rhyme with "whirl." Everyone knows Cinderella is a girl! (and even if someone didn't, the picture would show it)
PENALTY: $500 fine!
C) This one is even more subtle. "Far away from town" does not add any new information. We already know they are on a quiet little farm. The line is really there to rhyme with "down." This type of offense can possibly slide if you don't do it too much.
PENALTY: Get off with a warning... this time!
TIP: Always ask yourself: Would I have written that line if this story were in prose?
If you are not sure? SEND IT TO US at themetermaids@gmail.com
If you are not sure? SEND IT TO US at themetermaids@gmail.com
Wow! I guessed A :/ had no clue about B & C but it does make sense!
ReplyDeleteMs. Saba, we are ALL guilty of C from time to time! Heather Alexander calls me out on it at every conference :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the lesson ladies! I'm so guilty of doing this in most all my rhymes.
ReplyDeletep.s. Are you guys getting a badge? I'll love to add it to my blog :)
DeleteIMHO we ought to invent more words to rhyme with the lovely "twirl" besides girl, swirl, and whirl.
ReplyDeleteAnd no, I wasn't going to suggest "squirrel" although I have heard it pronounced along those lines!
- Cathy
Reading the comments is almost as much fun (and instructive) as reading your post, ladies. :) Thank you...I love the show and tell format...it's quite helpful. But now I have to go back and reread (and probably rewrite) all of my 12 x 12 pb drafts that are in rhyme. :(
ReplyDeleteFun lesson! Now I need bail to get out of jail!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Corey and Tiffany!
Yeah, using words just for the rhyme can definitely be a subtle crime. Sometimes, however it's a blatant offense, so a great first step when you are making revisions is to check your manuscripts for obvious examples, and remove them! I think working on finding surprising and creative rhymes is one of the most fun steps in the whole writing process! And it gets super, SUPER fun when you start incorporating internal rhyme and alliteration all in one fell swoop!
ReplyDeleteThis blog is a great idea!
ReplyDeleteMan, what I wouldn't do for the right rhyme when I need it.
Glad I have the metermaids to call upon now.
Shelley
I'm glad to have the Meter Maids, too! I can tell I am going to love this blog and all that the two of you have to offer!!! You are much appreciated!
ReplyDeleteWhen I first tried my hand at a picture book, I was an elementary school librarian so I thought FOR SURE I knew exactly what to do. Ha. I wrote this long obnoxious book completely in limericks...which, while fun individually, made for a VERY monotonous read aloud. And my main character was a complete brat. Good thing I shelved that monster and didn't get serious about my real writing for another EIGHT WHOLE YEARS. Now instead of obnoxious, I carry the compliment from an agent critique: 'Shel Silverstein-esque' and have a LOT more confidence about rhyming.
ReplyDeleteLove this blog!
Carter
This is a very helpful blog...I am trying my hand (pen) at rhyming stories, so I could use MUCH help. Thanks, Meter Maids! (Clever name, by the way.)
ReplyDeleteI would not have guessed "C" at all. Although I paused at "girl" and "whirl" but thought eh, okay. So glad we've got your virtual classroom available to us. I began writing poetry with Rena Boudreau's A to Z poetry challenge this year. Wish you were around before I posted them to the public.
ReplyDeleteCan't believe I got it all wrong! Need some serious rethinking on my WIP! So happy to have stumbled upon your blog, Meter Maids:)
ReplyDelete